


Trapped and Enshrined in My Own Mind

by ajremix



Series: The Ghost of a Smile [2]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-28
Updated: 2014-05-28
Packaged: 2018-01-26 20:42:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1701884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ajremix/pseuds/ajremix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Following The Ghost of a Smile.  Wash tries to tell York about Carolina's death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trapped and Enshrined in My Own Mind

At first Wash didn't think about it. Something always came up- someone arguing with someone else, one of the jeeps going the wrong way, someone needing to scout ahead, someone else needing to help Caboose get out of a tree -there was always a legitimate interruption whenever Wash tried to tell York about what happened to Carolina.

Until he realized it was actually York not wanting to talk about it.

He carefully made his way around stones half the size of a body, piled high into a dirt hill above where the simulation troops were sprawled out, bitching and arguing. Laying in the crevice at the top and peering off into the distance was York and it was still so surreal for Wash to call him that; the man that blew through the Project with a vivacious grin and infective humor, who always gave Wash crap for being as unlucky with cars as he was with women. The man that was the closest thing to a brother Wash had ever had, it was all stripped away until anger fired his bones and vengeance pulled his muscles.

In a way, Wash was actually glad Carolina wasn't alive to see him like that.

"We'll be passing by the out-most perimeter soon," York didn't even both to look at his fellow freelancer. "I'll go ahead on the mongoose and disable the sensor. Wait for my signal to drive through."

"Are we setting off already?" They hadn't even stopped for five minutes.

"Next patrol will be by within twenty minutes. We'll wait until they've gone a couple miles down the road to avoid being spotted."

Good. That left them plenty of time. "York, we should talk."

"Did one of them break the fucking suspension again?"

"What? No," Wash cast a quick glance back just to make sure. "I wanted to talk to you about Carolina."

York grunted.

"Don't you want to know what happened?"

"Not really."

Inside his helmet, Wash's jaw dropped. "You- but-"

"Unless it has something to do with this mission, it's not important."

" _Not important_? York- Carolina is _dead_."

Then, as if the conversation wasn't horrifying enough, York said flatly, "Oh, what a surprise."

Wash didn't know if he was going to hit York or just start hyperventilating. "Don't you care? You were _crazy_ about her! You drove the rest of us nuts because you wouldn't stop flirting with her! And she loved you! She stayed by your side until the absolute end! How can you _not care_?"

York pushed himself from elbows to hands, sliding down the rock so when he knelt it was in shadow and over Wash. "You want the truth? Like that'll make everything easier? The truth is _I don't remember her_. I've got this woman in my head and I don't know who she's supposed to be. I can't remember what Carolina looked like, what she sounded like, the way she moved. I can't tell the difference between what I felt for Carolina and what Epsilon felt for Allison. I can't remember if the man with a goddamn ring in his pocket was me or the fucking Director. So _no_ , Wash. I _don't_ care right now because even if they took Epsilon out of my head, the memories are still in there and I don't have the time to figure out which ones are mine."

Wash starred up at him, not knowing what to say, what to even think.

"Knowing the truth doesn't make a damn thing easier to bear," York shoved himself to his feet and down the hillside. "I've got a whole brain full of truth and all its done is ruin my fucking life. So I'm going to ruin the man that put it there."

He didn't wait for Wash to scramble after him, taking each shift under his feet as a springboard to another step. York landed next to the simulation troops in a heavy thump of tarnished armor and sloped shoulders. "Saddle up," he barked at them. "We're moving."

Wash just barely didn't stumble as he reached the bottom. "But the patrol will be by soon!"

The low purr of the mongoose reverberated in the air. "Then you better hurry up."


End file.
